reading back on all my blogs since 2008, I have realised that I have grown and matured a lot in the past few years. in fact since working full time this year as a teacher I have developed into the person I want to be. I have also taken the plunge to deminish my anxities all at once. i have booked a trip to America!!!
I am someone who loves home and hates to travel. I am not sure if it is the people I travel with and my moods that make travelling so unpleasant, or if it is travelling itself.
Since high school I have been dreaming of travelling to America. My dream is too see where John Lennon died in New York. Every year I go to travel expos and get brouchues of all the places I want to go too. And every year parents and friends push me to consider going overseas. I kept telling them "when im ready i will".
the beginning of this year I started my full time job as teacher and have grown personally. in the back of my mind I realised that I may be ready to go overseas but I still had a hint of anixety. I did my research on tours and the places I wanted to go too (L.A, San Fran, Vegas and New York). I would have loved to travel with a friend but in all honesty, I wanted to go by myself to face my fears and anxieties of meeting new people, being independent, exploring new places and experiencing overseas travel at a whole new level. i wanted an opportunity to go on a journey of self discovery and prove to myself I CAN DO THIS!
I still had the fear, and couldnt make myself book the trip. I had a panic attack in Flight Centre getting brochures on American tours. Can I do it? Then it happened.
One weekend in April a family friend came over to say goodbye before he headed off on a tour of Europe by himself for numerous months (mind you as I write this, he is planning on coming back in Jan!!). He said that I have to bite the bullet and just go!! I was still unsure and replied with the usual answer "when im ready". My dad turned to me and said (his words still ring in my ears) "you will never go overseas. you are a sayer, not a doer. you will spend your life going to travel expos for brouchues and never make it"
I was in shock. But it was something I needed to hear to make myself make the decision. That night I hoped onto the Contiki website and found heaps of girls my age (teachers too) going on this particular Contiki tour to America by themselves. I felt much more comfortable and decided it was time to face my fears.
The next day my parents went to the theatre and I was home alone. I drove to my local travel agency and booked my Contiki trip to America!!! (and I didnt have a panic attack!!). I came home and put the paper work on the kitchen bench. My parents came home and freaked out!!! Lets just say Dad was in so much shock he didnt talk to me for a few days, whereas my Mum was so proud (but scared inside). My Dad came to the realisation this trip is very important for me and has already written a list of all the things he wants me to do and buy. He also reminds me and tells everyone that if it wasnt for his reverse psychology I would not be going on a plane to L.A.
I am very excited for this journey and wish I could jump on a plane tomorrow!
Only 22 weeks to go!!!
Miss Beckz
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