Today I was at my grandma's house after work trying to get my homework done, when all of a sudden my phone beeps away. I thought to myself "it must be my bestie replying to a msg I just sent her".
I open the phone and the msg is from an unknown number. Hm this is weird. I open the sms and it is a msg from that guy I met at my friend's birthday party. He said hello and asked how things were, and told me he brought a mobile phone. You see, when I met him last week I asked for his number, he told me he didn't have a phone.
A bit weird isn't it? I thought it was just his excuse not to give me his number. So now he is msging me from his new phone. He has gone to the trouble of buying a phone and getting my number from my friend then smsing me. We made small talk and then he asked if we could catch up. I don't want anything from this apart from a long distance friendship, so I was nice and said yes. However we live 2 hours from each other and none of us wanted to make the journey to each others towns. So we decided that we would work something out at a later day.
I felt bad so I gave him my email address. It is the best I could do. I hate these situations.
We continued msging each other and that is all that has been happening.
I am a bit worried as I don't know him from a bar of soap, but he lives 2 hours away, its not like he is gonna knock on my front door anytime soon!
But i suppose he is my friend's friend and there is no harm in being friendly and having a good chat.
As i said in the previous blog, nothing is going to happen. Just Friends.
I am going to go with the flow and continue living my life.
Miss Beckz
Sunday, 21 September 2008
he smiled at me!
went to the butcher shop yesterday......saw that cute guy mum wants me to date....(she has good taste).....he kept smiling at me.....maybe i need to pay him a visit more often....hehe
miss beckz
miss beckz
Thursday, 18 September 2008
i don't think i could do it.....
I spoke to my friend today about the guy I met on the weekend. She hasn't spoken to him since Saturday night and has had a pretty dramatic week with her fiance (they have called off their engagement due to some circumstances).
She said he is a nice kid and will tell him I said hello.
But as I got thinking, I realised that I could not possibly go ahead with a relationship with his guy if he was interested.
I have my whole life here. My friends, family and career. I have worked so hard to get where I am today and I am not going to give it all up for a relationship with someone I hardly know. There is more too it, but I don't want to get into all the details. But I am doing this for myself!
I am willing to stay friends, but I am not going to travel to where he lives, and sacrifice everything.
I know it sounds mean and, if the guy is willing, give the relationship a chance, but I'm not.
It could not possibly work.
Why did I even play along with the idea?
So its in concrete- I don't want a relationship with this guy.
:D
Miss Beckz
She said he is a nice kid and will tell him I said hello.
But as I got thinking, I realised that I could not possibly go ahead with a relationship with his guy if he was interested.
I have my whole life here. My friends, family and career. I have worked so hard to get where I am today and I am not going to give it all up for a relationship with someone I hardly know. There is more too it, but I don't want to get into all the details. But I am doing this for myself!
I am willing to stay friends, but I am not going to travel to where he lives, and sacrifice everything.
I know it sounds mean and, if the guy is willing, give the relationship a chance, but I'm not.
It could not possibly work.
Why did I even play along with the idea?
So its in concrete- I don't want a relationship with this guy.
:D
Miss Beckz
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
massive weekend
Last weekend I had a MASSIVE weekend! It was my friends' 21sts and also my "come back special" (i haven't been on the party scene in a long time!)
Friday night was fun. It was just dinner with my friend's family and then the casino afterwards!
It was Saturday that was the real blast! We went to a nightclub for my friend's 21st in a private function room and was given free alcohol! So as you do you take advantage of that.
I wasn't drunk, but pretty tipsy. Anyways as the night went on, my friend introduced me to her friend, his name was Piggy (not his real name, but I am using his nickname here).
We spent the remainder of the evening (10pm til 2am) smiling at each other from across the room.
Cut a long story short, I made the first move and we ended up kissing.
Like every random hook up, I normally make a run for it, and avoid hanging around for the awkwardness.
As we left the nightclub we decided to go to the Casino and play the tables. I thought it was great opportunity to grab my friend and run back to our hotel and call it a night.
Instead, this guy grabbed my hand (fingers interlocked) and we walked out together!
It was a shock! Again, to cut a long story short we hung out all night and didn't leave eachothers view! We didn't get to know each other (although his fave colour is blue i think), but we did have loads of fun roaming the streets of the city!
The whole night we held hands, laughed, kissed and just generally had a great time! He introduced me to his mates and invited me to visit him where he lives (about 2 hours from where I live- country!).
I began the night thinking "i don't want anything from this", but as the night went on, I started to think differently.
I know it is crazy to think a long distance relationship would work, and with my career and uni commitments I couldn't keep up. Also he is nothing what I am looking for. The only thing we had in common was our football team! My checklist was thrown ou the window (which was an achievement in itself). He smokes, which I hate. He is into hip hop, doesn't study, works at the local supermarket in their town, and has no career options! He lives with his mum, brother and sister. His dad passed away last year.
At the end of the night, it was the awkward goodbye. Despite my reality thinking, I asked him for his number, but he doesn't have a phone which I thought was weird (but pretty obvious as I didn't see him with a phone all night.) So i didn't pressure him. I told him if he wants to catch up to contact me through my mate. Simple as that! We said goodbye and went our separate ways. That was at 5.30am on Sunday morning.
It is Wednesday night and I am still thinking about him. Is that crazy? He was such a nice kid and made me believe that there are nice guys out there. I see my friend tomorrow and will get the gossip about what he really thought.
If he wants to leave it as a hook up I will be relieved!
If he wants a relationship- that's when I am in deep water! What do I do? Yes I like him, but reality is.........
My plan is to stay friends and catch up if we are in the same town!
This is so crazy! How could I even think something could happen? Two completely different people, from completely different worlds!
What have I gained out of this? I met a really nice guy and had fun. It has shown me that there are nice, respectable guys out there (come on, he held my hand all night). It has also given my the confidence to find the one instead of hiding in the shadows!
Is what I am doing right? Or should I put it behind me?
I am not the type of person to leave things in the dark!
Miss Beckz
Any comments?
Friday night was fun. It was just dinner with my friend's family and then the casino afterwards!
It was Saturday that was the real blast! We went to a nightclub for my friend's 21st in a private function room and was given free alcohol! So as you do you take advantage of that.
I wasn't drunk, but pretty tipsy. Anyways as the night went on, my friend introduced me to her friend, his name was Piggy (not his real name, but I am using his nickname here).
We spent the remainder of the evening (10pm til 2am) smiling at each other from across the room.
Cut a long story short, I made the first move and we ended up kissing.
Like every random hook up, I normally make a run for it, and avoid hanging around for the awkwardness.
As we left the nightclub we decided to go to the Casino and play the tables. I thought it was great opportunity to grab my friend and run back to our hotel and call it a night.
Instead, this guy grabbed my hand (fingers interlocked) and we walked out together!
It was a shock! Again, to cut a long story short we hung out all night and didn't leave eachothers view! We didn't get to know each other (although his fave colour is blue i think), but we did have loads of fun roaming the streets of the city!
The whole night we held hands, laughed, kissed and just generally had a great time! He introduced me to his mates and invited me to visit him where he lives (about 2 hours from where I live- country!).
I began the night thinking "i don't want anything from this", but as the night went on, I started to think differently.
I know it is crazy to think a long distance relationship would work, and with my career and uni commitments I couldn't keep up. Also he is nothing what I am looking for. The only thing we had in common was our football team! My checklist was thrown ou the window (which was an achievement in itself). He smokes, which I hate. He is into hip hop, doesn't study, works at the local supermarket in their town, and has no career options! He lives with his mum, brother and sister. His dad passed away last year.
At the end of the night, it was the awkward goodbye. Despite my reality thinking, I asked him for his number, but he doesn't have a phone which I thought was weird (but pretty obvious as I didn't see him with a phone all night.) So i didn't pressure him. I told him if he wants to catch up to contact me through my mate. Simple as that! We said goodbye and went our separate ways. That was at 5.30am on Sunday morning.
It is Wednesday night and I am still thinking about him. Is that crazy? He was such a nice kid and made me believe that there are nice guys out there. I see my friend tomorrow and will get the gossip about what he really thought.
If he wants to leave it as a hook up I will be relieved!
If he wants a relationship- that's when I am in deep water! What do I do? Yes I like him, but reality is.........
My plan is to stay friends and catch up if we are in the same town!
This is so crazy! How could I even think something could happen? Two completely different people, from completely different worlds!
What have I gained out of this? I met a really nice guy and had fun. It has shown me that there are nice, respectable guys out there (come on, he held my hand all night). It has also given my the confidence to find the one instead of hiding in the shadows!
Is what I am doing right? Or should I put it behind me?
I am not the type of person to leave things in the dark!
Miss Beckz
Any comments?
Friday, 5 September 2008
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
top gear t shirt......
i got my seriously uncool but oh so cool top gear t shirt in the mail today!!!!
so excited!!!! it is a size large because it is suppose to be for men! but i don't care because it is seriously cool!!!
:) :) :D
Miss Beckz
so excited!!!! it is a size large because it is suppose to be for men! but i don't care because it is seriously cool!!!
:) :) :D
Miss Beckz
What if? What if? What if?
Recently I found out a friend of mine is leaving for the army overseas in mid November for 4 years. It came to no surprise as he was planning to do so sometime last year, but because of paper work etc it was delayed. So now he has signed his contract and is leaving for the army in a few months time. I found out from a friend of mine and remember my first response as shock. Even though we all knew it was going to happen one day, we didn't think it was going to happen today (figure of speech, he isn't really leaving today!). The thought kept going over my mind, "he is leaving this November for the army and I won't see him again for 4 years!". I stood there in complete shock. I didn't cry, I just stood there feeling numb.
I came home that day, sat on the couch wrapped up in a blanket and to my embarrassment spent most of the afternoon crying. How else was I suppose to feel? I told myself it was a stupid thing to do. But reality is, I am losing a friend (in the meantime). Someone who has been in my life for so long is leaving this November and won't be coming back for years! What also crosses my mind is, "will he remember me after all these years? What will happen in these four years he is gone? Will things be the same when he returns?"
Having all these questions running through my mind makes me feel numb inside. The future is kind of scary. What if? What if? What if?
I am happy he is fulfilling his dream, but what about the people left behind. His parents, family, friends, lovers. Everyone is going to be affected!
Another dilemma is do I either
(a) spend as much time with him before he leaves, letting our friendship bloom
or
(b) avoid him and go on with life so the final goodbye isn't hard
or
(c) leave things the way they are
There are so many questions going through my mind. But what I have decided to do is take each day at a time and deal with the final goodbye in November rather than now.
What would you do in this situation?
Miss Beckz
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